If you’re a conscious single mom, your child has no father.
More and more single women are choosing a sperm donor:
“The bond that you have as a conscious single mom with your child
is very intense and unique. ”
Say the conscious single mothers.
Your husband turns out to want no children.
Suppose you married a decade older man who knows
you have a big children wish.
But during your marriage your husband grabs every excuse to
to postpone a pregnancy.
Your husband finds excuses as going on a trip before becoming pregnant,
making ready first your new home,
Then it is that the garden should be laid out.
In spite of the fact that the design of the house was done by himself,
he placed therein two children’s rooms.
But he has obsessive cleaning phobia and cleaning disease.
In his house may never actually living children,
because it is a museum.
If children are on the floor he goes crazy.
Afterward, he cleaned up even the doors.
Thereby realize you have waited a few years and
postpone your desire to have children is stronger than your marriage.
Every pregnancy from a colleague or friend
becomes a hard confrontation.
On the one hand, you are happy for them
but then it hurt much
because your former husband was so anti-children.
It is clear that after a few years you
going to leave him, or not?
It takes time to know someone enough,
to be open again after a divorce and several years
for a new relationship.
You must be severe scare,
because you would also be wrong again,
when push comes to shove this new relationship will
respect your children.
Can you disconnect having children from a relationship
Can you be pregnant without a relation?
If you want to be artificially inseminated with donor sperm,
You can knock at different hospitals
for the great feature
private sperm banks and often work together
with other approved sperm banks.
First, you consult a gynecological center
that cooperates with a clinic.
Usually, costs an insemination with donor sperm around 250 euros.
As conscious single mother you have a large capacity and
need a robust social network.
There will be some conversations with a psychologist.
With questions such as:
Why do you want to do this?
What is your job?
How is the contact with your parents?
Do you have brothers or sisters?
Those conversations may seem unjustified because standard
couples don’t get questions
but I do understand that a doctor wants to show their stability
as a mother-to-be.
You obviously have a large capacity and
need a stable social network.
Those intense conversations are also an affirmation
you can handle a child.
The psychologist will give you often tips how to handle
when your child comes with questions.
Your request will probably come to a board
whether or not approve your application and
you will be notified by phone or email.
Then you can start it.
Obviously, you can not just bring everyone up to date
about your wish to get pregnant just like an average couple don’t do that.
The next step is to choose an anonymous sperm donor.
For that, you need to provide some desirable characteristics,
For example, skin color, blood type, hair color,
the color of the eyes.
Those features you can specify two priorities
which the donor must indeed possess.
You will go several times to check your doctor,
which precisely verifies when you ovulate
to avoid failures.
Ovulation is enhanced with hormones that you can inject into your belly.
Often there is regular blood test (drawn) to
more precisely to distract
when ovulation will occur correctly.
Of course, there is some disappointment when
insemination failed, and that could weigh heavily.
Each month two or three weeks excitement:
Will the menstruation comes or not?
That brings a rollercoaster of emotions.
It is a test for your children-wish.
The support of parents and friends is important here.
There have been several attempts: 5, 6, 7, 8 … before you become pregnant.
What chance do you have as a woman to get pregnant
with donor sperm?
The success rate depends on the age of women :
for women under 36 years is that 1 in 5 for each insemination
but for their forties could be 1 in 10.
On an annual basis would be for women
are under 36 years 3 to 5.
Some of these early pregnancies can backfire.
The probability of ongoing pregnancy per patient annually is 1 in 2.
In patients older than 40 years, the chance of pregnancy by one-third per year,
the probability of ongoing pregnancy is 1 to 6.
The information about your donor, you get only officially
see it when you are pregnant.
Lots of info you obviously get.
It remains the size, blood type, skin color, hair color.
You will never know the identity of the donor of your child
in Belgium, the sperm banks only work with anonymous donors.
Before you start insemination, it is important that you get the whole thing
well discuss with your parents,
because you need the emotional support
to realize your dream.
You do not get special benefits; the child money is the same
like for families with two parents.
All expenses are for the single mother,
and you do not get alimony of course
If you start, all the problems are for you only:
it may be an argument for many single women
not to take children.
You should be used to stand on your own two feet and
everything just to be doing on your own.
With a couple it’s totally different.
They can support each other and the tasks can be divided.
If one of the two wants to do something
(A hobby, the messages to the pharmacy when your child is sick …)
the other partner can watch on the children.
For a single mother is not the same.
For everything you need a baby-sitter.
You’ll desire to exercise again.
For your child you give up a lot,
because you can not take three times a week babysitting
or enable your parents.
If you want children, you know that the consequences entails.
You get of course a lot of love back.
If you want to start a new relationship it will be difficult because
most men have children,
or even they have children themselves every other week.
For the conscious single mother, the child is always there,
you don’t have plenty of time to arrange a date.
Perhaps a child of a single mother develops
a special relationship with the grandfather and then inserted into the child.
If you have children is very large,
it is wonderful that there are men who want donor.
Before you start:
Think very carefully about it.
It is a decision that you can not take away.
Getting a child is irreversible and it changes
your life drastically.
Children cost money.
Even on your own getting pregnant is expensive.
Do you have people around you who can lend a hand?
As a single you’ll certainly need to occasionally fill your batteries
again what to charge.
It is not always easy to make a run for,
but the child will be aware of the single mother’s life richer,
make valuable and colorful.
It is a unique and intense bond with your child as a single mom.
You only make such a choice when it is a life goal.
Do you have comments, suggestions or experiences,
which let me know in the comments section below.
Johan Persyn Hooglede Belgium
Category: single mother, conscious single mother, having children,
Sometimes, sometimes... we get so caught up in the agenda of life that we accidentally forget to take control of paying attention to the ones we love, the food on our table, the breakdowns we have so that we can breakthrough, role models that have inspired us, the electricity that powers up our devices and home, the transportation we have access to, our ability to still be living and breathing, and all of the awesome coincidences that had to have happened in order for the "miracles" in your life to have taken place.
When we pay attention to what we are grateful for, we force ourselves to seek MORE of that which we do want!